It's been a while...

It's been a while since my last post.  Here's the update.  I'm walking with 2 sneakers, yes that's 2!  Finally.  I'm able to walk without the crutches, but with a limp.  I carry one around with me just in case I need it.  Sort of like a safety net.  I suspect I will abandon the 1 crutch within the next week or 2.  I'm feeling great, almost human again.  I can walk up with the stairs with no problem, but down I still walk like a toddler.  That's because my range of motion is limited in my left ankle and prevents me from decelerating (slowing down) to the next step.  I took hip hop on Saturday standing!  Lets not get carried away though.  I could stand up.  I do the first half of resistance training standing, but the combo I still need to sit.  I tried standing but my brain would not connect with my foot.  In order to stimulate my nervous system, I sit down and mimic the legs, but do the arms full out.  I'm so close!  I never thought I'd be back in the studio this fast.  It just goes to show you that if you stay active and keep in shape, you'll heal faster.

Striving to be the example

~Amy

Reality Check

Ok…so when I said I was walking I meant I could put weight on it…with the crutches.  I dreamt (before I had my last appointment with the doctor) that I’d ditch the boot and the crutches and be free.  I’d be walking.  I’d be running.  I’d be dancing.  Then reality set it.

It’s just over two months now, and I know I’ve made amazing progress.  But everyone has their days…even me.  Sometimes positivity is exhausting.  I spend all day, everyday, pushing myself to the limit.  It’s time to let go, melt into my bed, and listen to some music.  It’s proven that music therapy aids in easing anxiety and helps you relax.  I even tried meditating earlier today, but definitely need more practice.  Being present and aware.  I don’t do that.  I’m always living in the past, and the future.  “What has happened? “  “What will happen?” Not, “What’s happening right now?”  I’ve started to focus on this more.   It’s time to put the “Present Amy” first.  What do I need?   I agree with you Dave.  I need to take care of my emotional and spiritual self.    

The last few days have been hard.  I’ve felt even more social anxiety then I did before.  I officially walk like an 80-year-old woman.  I don’t go unnoticed on the street.  It’s almost as if I’m better off crutching.  At least then I could fly by people. I'm a serious speed demon.  I’m craving the social connection, the ease of walking down to the deli to get a soda, and COFFEE!  I’m an addict.  Some would say it’s great that I’ve given up this bad habit, but I say boo to you!  I get up early and need to function.  Of course with crutches, I can’t carry anything.  And seriously people, don’t say I can have them put it in a bag.  You try crutching with a hot coffee swinging on your wrist.  All you have to protect yourself is a brown paper bag encased in a flimsy plastic one.  The one time I tried this, I instantly regretted it.  I got upstairs to the gym floor at work, and by the time I got to the break room, half the cup was in the plastic bag.  I was infuriated.  But there is hope!  I have graduated to one crutch and the boot.  I have my left hand free.      

I began an aggressive course of Physical Therapy and have definitely seen progress already…however small it is.  YES!  I can crinkle a towel with my toes.  Not only do I go three times a week, but also I train myself at the gym.  Lots of core and upper body work, as well as waking up my left leg.  Leg lifts for quads, abduction for outer thigh, adduction for inner thigh, leg curls for hamstrings, and hip extensions for glutes.  Swimming has become my cardio as well as therapy.  It’s definitely helping increase my range of motion.  Today was the first day I attempted a hip bridge with weight on both feet (laying supine on the mat, and lift the hips up to the ceiling).   I want to fire up those hammies.  Attempt 1 was ok, with residual knee pain, nothing that stretching my piriformis couldn’t fix (small, but mine’s most likely jacked muscle in the glutes, that is used to externally rotate).  I started to get the hang of it.  I’ve also been shifting my weight back and forth from one foot to the other without shoes on.  I can go a little more each time.  Everyday I see progress. 

For a visual…here is my foot on January 19^th and today, March 1st.  Major difference. 

One step at a time…literally

~Amy     

Freedom

I'm walking...sort of.  According to my doctor I need to slowly rid myself of the crutches and out of the boot.  We'll see how long it takes.  PT Day 1 today, but the real work starts tomorrow.  Always keeping you posted.

One step ahead of the rest


~Amy

Uninhibited

  Hopefully today is my last day crutching.  Strangely, time has seemed to both fly by and crawl.  Is it about to get slower?  I have this image in my mind of myself walking, running, moving, being normal.  Whatever that means.  Normal.
  I was Uptown today and decided my last big adventure would be to "crutch" from 7th avenue to 9th avenue.  Having a particularly rough week; my head spinning with endless thoughts, I tried to hide.  As a New Yorker, I always want to go unnoticed.  I don't want to be bothered.  I throw on my ipod and pretend the world exists around me.  I am the center of the universe.  That's when I'm most Zen.  One of the many reasons why I loved backpacking through Europe...I was a stranger to the city.  I wanted to adapt to my surroundings and explore...uninhibited.   There was nothing holding me back.  Time seemed endless.  It didn't matter.  I was there, in the moment, and present.  This is my meditation.  Thank you Alice, you helped me figure it out.  That's what I've been craving and missing so much.  The ability to walk around the city, listen to music, and clear my head.  I have to be TOO aware when I'm on crutches.  I want to lose myself in the hustle and bustle.  
  So I started on my journey, crossing through midtown (what a nightmare).  I kept my chin down, my hood up, and my ipod on.  Ok maybe it's dangerous, but fuck it.  I do, what I do, when I want to do it.  That's me taking control!  Maybe that's the attitude that landed me here.  I've had some interesting reactions on the street (hence the hiding).  As I made my way across town, an older woman with platinum blond hair and "plastered on" make up (you know that ridiculously dark lip liner) made quite a statement.  She casually said, "You need to walk with a book balanced on your head."  I shot up straight, I felt a rush of heat, my face all flush.  Why am I acting like I'm ashamed of what I've done?  The answer is...I'm not.  I'm proud.  I'm bold.  I'm amazing.  And I'm not going to stop.  I try to be so positive all the time, but I have my days.  But then I remember how much I want this.  The chance to come back smarter and stronger.  Look out fear; here I come...running.

But first I walk.

~Amy

I Want My Big Box of Crayons…

The two-month mark is approaching, tomorrow, February 21.  I have my next appointment on Wednesday with the orthopedist.   I’m feeling all of this anticipation and angst.  Wednesday is so close, yet so far.  The word is; if my fracture has healed, then I’ll leave with a walking cast.  I’m not big on the whole prayer thing…but pray for me.  I need to move on to the next phase!!!!

Thank you March issue of Dance Magazine.  For those of you that don’t read Dance Magazine, it has been in existence since 1927 mostly following ballet and modern dance, keeping you up to date on different dance companies, the latest dance trends and upcoming events.  In this issue there’s an article titled “So You Think You Can…Back Flip?”  Validation!!!!!  Thank you Dance Mag for this article.  It talks about how dancers need to be more versatile in order to land all types of gigs.   The first line of this article has inspired the title of this post, “Dancers today are expected to operate with a full box of crayons, not just a single color. “  It goes on to say, “Versatility is synonymous with marketability…Dancers who train outside their comfort zone multiply opportunities for networking and auditions.”  This is the reason I put myself at risk.  I want to be able to do everything.  My mother is going to cringe when she reads this, but…I won’t let fear stop me.  I’ve learned that I’m human, and can get hurt.  I continue to dream of the things I’m going to do once I’m up and running : )       

Here’s a cute picture of me at work.  Last week, an old woman approached me at the gym and said, “You’d make a great picture.”  I was like, “Excuse me?”  Then she explained that I should have a picture taken with my crutches and shirt that says PERSONAL TRAINER across the back.   Good idea lady!  I’m giving you credit. 

Lastly, the video accompanying this post is one lap in the pool.  Take note of my left leg and how it’s trailing behind my right, yet still going!  I’m shocked to see how well it moves considering my condition.  It’s an amazing workout for me because it’s one of the few ways I can get my heart rate up.  It’s low impact cardio, meaning less pressure on the joints, the water acts as a resistance, and it helps increase the range of motion in my ankle.  I consider it PPT (pre physical therapy).

Two months down, _______  to go.

~Amy    

Breakthroughs

I swam 40 laps yesterday!  In record time too.  Or I think so anyway.  I swam 4 sets of 10 laps with about 3 minutes rest time in between.  I swam the first 3 sets at 7 minutes and the last set at 6 minutes.  I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything (I am normally modest I swear!), but that's pretty fast.  To add icing to the cake, I have one bum foot.  Let's not forget that.  The possibilities are endless.  My right leg was doing about 3/4 of the work dragging my left leg behind.  I should contact Michael Phelps to see if that's some kind of Olympic record.  Ok... now I'm just getting carried away.  More updates and videos to come!

~Amy

Creative Solutions

  So you may think I'm crazy, but today was my 2nd hip hop class since the accident.  I know what you're thinking.  How is that possible?  Well...anything is possible.  A big thanks and shout out to Jennifer Archibald for being amazing!  Thank you for letting me take your class in a chair.  I first attempted this last Saturday and again today.  Just over a month out of a dance studio.  I must admit I was initially hesitant.  I didn't know how I'd react to being in the studio unable to dance, walk, or even stand for that matter.  But I was desperate to just let go and move my body.  In the back of my mind thanks to a certain someone, all I could hear was, "Why not take hip hop?  You should be able to dance in a chair..."So I gave into my overwhelming passion and accepted the challenge.  Jen's Saturday class is a half hour of resistance training (with thera bands) combined with ab work on the floor.  The last half hour is all about moving.  She adds choreography to her combinations as we continually repeat it.  Since she has a lot of intricate arm work, I figured...why not?  So as she started to teach, I did the arms and whatever I could do with my legs, in a chair.  I have a hard time picking up the arms when I'm on two feet, so sitting was that much harder.  A challenge...awesome!  And here's how I turn this frown upside down.  Now, I have the opportunity to improve my skills.   I notice I pay closer attention to the style and upper body.  This will definitely help me when I can dance again.  I'll be able to pick up choreography that much faster!  Sweet.  See ya next week Jen.  

  I'm a very determined individual.  I want to speed up this process and heal as fast as possible.  As my roommate Jenny notes, I'm very impatient...very New York.  I have access to a beautiful gym everyday, so I'm using this to my advantage.  I've been sticking my foot in the pool every couple of days to help increase my range of motion.  In the beginning, my foot barely moved.  I'd stare at my toes and try to get them to wiggle.  Today...2 1/2 weeks later,  I can flex it about 10 degrees on my own.  Thank you Kinetic Chain!  My nervous system finally combined forces with my muscular and skeletal systems.  I do however, have more range of motion when I use my hand to move it.  

  Yesterday I swam 20 laps.  The doctor told me to wait a couple of weeks, and since it had been over 2, I thought that was enough.  It didn't hurt my foot at all!  I started kicking my legs slowly with the kick board; and 10 minutes later...I got to the other end of the pool.  So after 4 of those, I started to use my arms.  I could finally get my heart rate up!  

  Now we approach the theme of this post; Cardio workouts, minus a foot.  How can I get my heart rate up while sitting?  I'm guessing your mind goes right to the hand bike, what I like to call the geriatric machine.  You probably don't even know where that is in your gym.  After trying that a few times.  I knew I needed to find something else.  Creative solution #1: Hip hop class sitting in a chair.  Creative solution #2: Swimming.  Creative solution #3: Muay Thai.  

  I thought to myself...why can't I do Muay Thai sitting down?  I can box, I'm just temporarily unable to kick.  Muay Thai is an amazing cardio workout and now I can tell you from personal experience...it doesn't matter if you're sitting.  Today's video is a short clip of my boxing workout.  Alan is holding the pads and calling out combinations for me.  You can't hear us very well...except of course when I yell at him.  Oops.  Thanks for being such a good sport : )  Since I used my blackberry to record this, I can't edit it...so fast forward to about 40 seconds in.  Next video will be a strength and cardio workout using a medicine ball.  Let the creative juices continue to flow.             

  You may think this is too much activity for me at this point of my recovery...but I'm happiest when I prove to myself how much is possible and how far I can push myself.  You may in fact think I'm crazy, but for now I'm gonna do me : )

~Amy